I'm getting stronger every day
I am never quite prepared when I hear " your really lucky your husband didn't leave you after the first six months or why did you have a second child when you knew that your depression would become much worse after another delivery?" When I'm caught off guard it's difficult to muster up the words that would allow me to share that my daughter's existence is so worth every month and every year of agony that I had to endure. How can I calmly and accurately ask someone why they would think that my husband should have or would have left me because I was sick with an invisible illness? What do I say when someone tells me that my husband deserves a badge of honor? Sometimes I am forced to rethink and to relive and as a result sometimes I get sad. The distant memories of days upon days and years upon years of absolute agony are mine and mine alone. I think about how although my book has given me the opportunity to share, to heal and to possibly help others, it can never accurately describe what my journey was like. I can take myself back in an instant and feel the guilt, the shame, the hopelessness and the fear. As time passes my body heals and with each and every year, my strength comes.
Luv Debbie
Fragments of Hope
